Then watch this video and learn a thing or two from the gentleman. Heehee!

Go watch, it’s hilarious! Every car should have this unique anti-auto theft “device”

But I must admit they’re kinda funny, LOL! Here are the quotes –

* Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
* A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
* Marriage requires a person to prepare 4 types of “Rings”: Engagement Ring Wedding Ring, Suffering, Enduring
* The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
* Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
* Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.”
* Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
* Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

Remember when you were young and used rubber band tricks to impress your family and friends? Well, here are some neat tricks you can perform for your kids now. I’m sure they’d be amazed! =)

Types of Farts! Eeww disgusting

ARROGANT FART => When you think your farts don’t stink.

ASSAULT FART => A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.

TIRE FART => You can’t control the blow out.

JAIL FART => Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.

DONKEY FART => Your ass is the only one that can do it.

GHOST FART => You can’t hear it, you can’t see it, and you can’t smell it.

HOME ALONE FART => When you’re home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.

SHOE FART => When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.

TANK FART => When you refer to your farts as ‘gas’.

OLD FART => You know how old it is by how bad it smells.

ALZHEIMER FART => A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.

NOT-ME FART => When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper ” PIG!”

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,”You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.

We call this arranged marriage.I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love…I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.”

The American said, ” Talking about love marriages?… I’ll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

“After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father’s father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father’s brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father’s son I.e. My brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems.. ? !